True Confessions

When you end up in the fetal position on your bed in the middle of the day because your three-year-old has figured out how to get the better of you EVERY TIME, you realize that you need to change something. Your own attitude? Perhaps. Your child's attitude? That would be super, but it's unlikely to happen without other changes. Your discipline techniques? Yes, sure. But how?

One way is to cut the guilt. Stop feeling guilty that you don't scrapbook your kids' lives, or that you don't do cute crafting projects with them, or make their clothes, or bake bread for them every morning, or even have a chore chart. Okay, maybe make the chore chart. That would be good. But don't feel guilty that it isn't made yet, or that when it is made it's likely to be on a crafting level with a kindergartener's Christmas tree paper chain.

But there's also just recognizing that you need to "offer it up." This is my blogging record of learning what that means. While I do it, I also want to start catching the blog up with old news. 'Cuz that helps with the guilt! Overall, though, I want to focus on "offering it up."

Today, after headbangers galore with my daughter, I ended up snapping completely. I yelled at her. I hate that about myself, but it happens far too often. And then, predictably, I called my husband and vented to him about it. He was so honest with me about the problem. He didn't disagree that her attitude needs to change and she needs to be more respectful, but he pointed out that I did not have a poker face EVER, and that she knows she can poke at me to get me to react.

Exactly.

And so here I am, realizing that I need to learn to offer it up. But what does that mean?

I have no idea. I've heard it said so many times as a solution to my problems, but I don't know what it means. I know it has something to do with not being in a funk every time I feel as if someone has imposed on me. Not venting to my husband or my mom or my friends every time I feel like a martyr or a champion of virtue. Not flipping out on my kids because they won't follow my sage advice or listen to my sensible rules. But I know it means more.

And I will try to learn what that is. Blessed Mother, be my example.